hidden wires

when i was born a girl 
i looked into my father's eyes 
and saw what i thought were tears of joy 
but now i know 
there was also a hint of disappointment in them too

still, i thought life was great 
and at first i did not understand 
why they gave me so much freedom 
or why my brothers had to study hard, 
their spirits tamed and moulded 
into lonely bonsais of success

but it was soon i saw the hidden wires 
that shaped my own destiny 
dragging me along the road 
from dolla house dreams to name brand schools 
where girls becoming women learn 
the princess poses that they'll need 
to lure a seed to womb

in childhood i was free, unlike my brothers 
but now, there i was in offices 
pouring tea for men whose suits 
were the leaves of the lonely bonsais 
that my brothers too had become

like the dreams of our husbands 
now chained to desks and whiskey nights 
the dreams we had were not our own 
and our real life dollhouses are now 
so cold, so empty


© Arenson Paul 2016